Drastic Measure

You know that Sex and the City episode where Miranda bakes these brownies and is eating them by her self, and all of the sudden after throwing them away in the garbage she picks them up again and eats some more!? Come on you've seen it! Finally she decides to throw some soap on them so that she can definitely NOT eat them... Well if you didn’t happen to catch the episode this will give you an idea…

This was me, about half an hour ago, I know it’s terrible that I’m throwing food away with all the hungry children out there, and God knows at this point I am not one to be wasting anything! But guess what, I have no will power, and I have been working very hard on a promise I made my friend Crossty. I have been waking up really early in the mornings (ok, some mornings) to go workout, and guess what after almost two months, I have not seem great results but I am seeing some, for sure. I feel great, my clothes feel looser on me, for Pete’s sake I put on shorts yesterday and I actually felt hot! Not slutty really tight shorts that show half of your ass hot, but effortlessly, sexy on a summer beach night hot. I love it!

And about that picture, let me tell you something I threw away a perfectly great walk/run in the park yesterday morning by eating pepperoni pizza half an hour before bed, and not only that but I drank wine, beer and half of a mojito! I was bad, really bad! Trust me I am not obsessed with my weight, I’m not on a diet, or eating pieces of lettuce only, I have been just introducing some more veggies, fruit and less fatty foods onto my daily eating routine; added to not smoking, and reducing drinking to a couple of glasses of red wine socially, let me tell you it’s working, slowlly but surelly. And since those three left over slices of pizza were eventually gonna make it into my stomach after all of the making up work out I did today I decided to take drastic measure, so I threw them away and put soap on them!

I think I was confused, I though that by being able to say that I’m a far more secure women than I used to be, and that I am comfortable enough in my own skin to be able to show my naked body to a men, that alone made me a hot moma. The reality is that I wasn't secure I was confortable, I kind of stoped caring about my weight and the way I looked and somehow along the way that carelessness became 'conformismo' (I guess settlement is kind of the word) and somehow all of it finally transformed into selfesteem (if it is possible).

I’m still secure, and comfortable with my body, I know I am a beautiful woman, but I know I’ve looked better, I know I’ve felt better, and now that I'm starting to see results I can't help to think, that I was kidding myself. I want to feel that thing you feel when you go buy a new pair of jeans and they fit you perfect! I want to be able to go on my trip in octuber through Italy and Barcelona and be able to walk up stairs, walk all day, go out at night and not feel like a total mess the next morning. So for that I’m making some sacrifices, and at times taking drastic measures, so for that sue me!